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Kristen Stewart: My early twenties were 'a really traumatic period'

July 13, 2015 Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Ang Lee, Rupert Sanders

The struggles of stardom. Kristen Stewart might only be 25 but she has had to put up with a lot thanks to finding fame at an early age.

"I lit my universe on fire, and I watched it burn," the Twilight star admitted to Marie Claire in its upcoming August issue of her rapid ascent to fame.

After the vampire drama took Hollywood by storm, Stewart feared that she would end up ascribing to the cliched standards of the industry. But she was happy that she found her inner rebel.

"Speaking very candidly, the Twilight years were a really traumatic period in my early twenties that kick-started something in me that was a bit more... feral," said the star, who is currently filming Ang Lee's military drama Long Halftime Walk. "I'm really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater. That's a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is f--king awesome."

Stewart had a steady relationship with Robert Pattinson during her Twilight years but crashed that with an affair with director Rupert Sanders.

"Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak," she said. "If I didn't know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating."

Her hairstyles were a direct manifestation of her moods. "My hair was such a crutch. I looked 'sexy' no matter what. I could hide behind it. As soon as I didn't have all that hair, I had to let my face hang out, Stewart said. "I felt more confident than I had in a really long time. And it felt really good. Maybe to most people long hair is prettier. But then what? Is your main goal in life to be desired? That is boring as f--k."

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By: Maverine Lane

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