I like it    I don't like it

Performed by adam sandler and allen covert

Richie: so ya doin good?
Samantha: ya, Im fine, how bout you?
Richie: how good could I be? I havent seen you in three hours.
Samantha: ohhh, richie. hey richie, my dads down the hall, and he doesnt want me on the phone. so if I hang up on you, its just because hes coming.
Richie: ok. so look, uh, do you wanna meet at the spring fling dance thi...
[she hangs up phone]

[phone rings]
Richie: hello?
Samantha: sorry, I thought he was coming.
Richie: thats ok. so, about the dance. do you wanna meet
Samantha: umm, well my brother gets the car on friday nights.
Richie: well thats ok, Ill come by and get you. lets say around...
[she hangs up phone]
Richie: come on..

[phone rings]
Richie: hey.
Samantha: sorry. I guess he was just going to the bathroom.
Richie: thats ok. well look, uh.. what was I saying? oh yeah, should I pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin..
[she hangs up the phone again]
Richie: give me a break...

[phone rings]
Richie: hello.
Samantha: sorry. it was just my dog.
Richie: hey, whats your dads problem anyways!? why cant we talk?
Samantha: he just thinks Im on the phone too much. oh my god, uh, I gotta go.
Richie: dont hang up!
Samantha: richie, I cant talk!
Richie: no, Im sick of this! put your dad on the phone! I wanna talk to him.
Samantha: its not my dad.
Richie: what? well, whos there? why cant you talk?
Samantha: uh, just look richie, someone is here.
Richie: whos there? is it a guy!?
Samantha: richie!
Richie: I knew it! Ill kill him! put him on the phone!
Samantha: oh.. its just.. hold on.

[hands phone to guy]
Richie: hey man! what the hell are you doing there!? samanthas my girl!
Youd better stay away from her or Ill make you wish you were never born!
Buffoon: f**kin shit!
Richie: yeah, f**kin shit is right buddy! dont think Im kidding around, man! Im crazy! Ill smash your head in! I swear to god!
Buffoon: one time I saw my grandmother in the shower. her bush starts above her belly button.
Richie: yeah, well thats too bad! but Im still gonna come over there and beat your face in!
[richie slams down phone]

Samantha: what happened? was he mad?
Buffoon: my neighbors dog has a four inch clit!
Samantha: oh buffoon, youre the coolest. [whispering] I love you...