I like it    I don't like it

Performed by adam sandler, rob schneider, tim meadows, david spade, steve koren, tim herlihy, and margaret ruden

[car approaches]
Toll booth willie: welcome to worchester. dollar twenty-five please.
M1: hey, how ya doin toll booth willie?
Toll booth willie: good! thanks fer askin, pop!
M1: aww, thats great, you know, considering yer a f**kin idiot!
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: go f**k yourself you son of a bitch! Ill come right outta the booth and f**kin whack ya, you f**kin prick!

[another car approaches]
M2: hey, hey, willie! hows it going?
Toll booth willie: hey, cant complain, pop. hows bout you?
M2: oh, great, great. how much?
Toll booth willie: the state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.
M2: thats fine. now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: why you f**kin hard on! Ill f**king carlton fisk yer f**kin head with a louise-ville f**kin slugger! whadya think of that ass f**k!?

[another car approaches]
F1: hi willie.
Toll booth willie: oh, nice to see ya mam. not a bad day, huh?
F1: well, Im a little lost. could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions.
Toll booth willie: well I know my way around new england. I can tell ya that much. so where ya headed?
F1: well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. you know, if youd tell me, Id appreciate it, you f**kin prick.
[drives off]
Toll booth willie: you f**kin bitch! f**k you! you forgot to pay the f**kin toll you dirty whore! Ill f**kin drop you with a boot to the f**kin skull you cum guzzling queen!

[another car approaches]
M3: hey willie.
Toll booth willie: hey, how are ya?
M3: heres a dollar twenty-five, and go f**k yourself.
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: dah, you f**kin prick! I hope you choke on a f**kin bottle cap, ya f**kin son of a f**k! eat shit! eat my shit!

[another car approaches]
Bishop nelson: hello willie. good to see you.
Toll booth willie: ahhh, bishop nelson. nice to see ya. that was quite a sermon you had the other day.
Bishop nelson: hey, well I do my best.
Toll booth willie: dollar twenty-five, bishop.
Bishop nelson: dollar twenty-five, willie. isnt that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: ohhh! have another one, you f**kin lush! its not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya f**kin douche bag!

[another car approaches]
M5: hey!
Toll booth willie: well hey!
M5: yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: well, I already heard that one you f**kin unoriginal bastard! go suck a corn you f**kin piece of repeatin shit!

[another car approaches]
F2: hi.
Toll booth willie: oh, hi. how are ya?
F2: fine, thank you. how much is the toll please?
Toll booth willie: for you sweetheart, its a dollar twenty-five.
F2: here ya go.
[pays toll]
F2: thank you.
[begins to drive off]
Toll booth willie: hey! hey! honey! would you like a receipt with that?
F2: oh, I almost forgot. thank you so much.
[toll booth willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll booth willie: and here ya are.
F2: umm, do you think you could sign it?
Toll booth willie: oh, uh.. sign it?
F2: yeah, sign toll booth willie was here.
Toll booth willie: ok, sure. uhh, by the way, what is this for?
[signing receipt]
F2: just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest f**kin dip shit with the smallest dick alive. you understand.
[drives off]
[crumples up paper]
Toll booth willie: f**k you, you f**kin upity bitch! Ill f**kin f**k you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your f**kin mothers! youre gonna die, bitch! Im comin o
The booth! [opens the door and runs out of the booth]

[car screeches and hits him]
Toll booth willie: ooooh! my f**kin leg!
M6: hey! you ran over toll booth willie!
M7: oh my god! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
Dried up stinky dick licker.
Toll booth willie: why you f**kin pricks. I f**kin hear every f**kin word yer saying! when this f**kin leg heals, Im gonna kick you guys new f**kin assholes!

[everyone cussing eachother out]