[VERSE 1]
Man your really one heck of a guy
Best friend since junior high
You showed me Playboy for the very first time
That was rad
We saw Bon Jovi we sat in the front row
I pierced your ear right before the show
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know

[1ST CHORUS]
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did
You just want to get some
That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover
Cause she's tickin like a time bomb
And did i mention that youbothsuck.com
Now your stuck with her
Like Mellencamp is stuck with cougar.
I guess that makes me the LUCKIEST LOSER

[VERSE 2]
I met her at a kegger past out in the yard
Gettin in her pants wasn't really that hard
6 months later she crashed my car
That was rad
She's got a glow from her spray on tan
Marilyn manson is her favorite band
I really think she might worship Satan, not a band

[2ND CHORUS]
Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did
You just want to get some
That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You should run for cover
Cause she's tickin like a time bomb
And did i mention that youbothsuck.com
Now she's stuck with you
Like a frat guy with a bad tattoo
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper
Guess that makes me the LUCKIEST LOSER

[BRIDGE]
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover you deserve each other
I'll leave the weapon when you take her home to
Meet your mother
She was a superstar, back seat of my car
Those days are over, now the night goes on yeah

[3RD CHORUS]
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love
Or did you just want to get some
That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover
Cause she's tickin like a time bomb
And did i mention that youbothsuck.com
Now your stuck wit her
Like Mellencamp is stuck with cougar.
Like number two on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me te LUCKIEST LOSER