| Dane Cook QUOTES / QUOTATIONS |
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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Comedy is in a great place - it's really healthy.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.
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I get so into the moment.
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I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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I started watching a lot of comics who were more storytellers. I focused on Louie Anderson, Bill Cosby, guys who took it slow.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.
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If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
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In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
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It was a personal achievement of mine to get on David Letterman. When I got there, I knew things were really happening for me.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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